Thoughts about life, and reactions to things

I'm not sure I realize the hold a place has on me, until I get a moment of clarity and realize what's going on. Why on earth am I still living in this area? I don't really know... well maybe I do, sort of. I've done it before, I hang on to this vain hope that something great will work out for me, and I go through the cycle over and over again, which is just insanity if I really think about it. I'm not a fan of victim talk, so I'll try to avoid it as much as I can. I do, however, have to acknowledge that some people are given advantages over others at times, and it seems like there is a little bit of a status game that some people play, or at least that's my perception (I want to be careful and clarify that these are just my feelings about a few things, and it's not necessarily accurate to project that on everyone). It's easy to get yourself caught up in that game, and then to have an amazing amount of bitterness because you're not given what you want, you feel left out, insignificant, and hurt that you're not thought of. The next thing that sometimes takes place, is that you start to direct those feelings at those you see getting what you wanted. That's envy and jealousy. The other (and much more common) reaction I have when I realize I can't control any of these circumstances, is to check out, leave, move on to something else. I don't want this to totally be my reason for wanting to leave this place, but in all honesty it's a large factor. I don't think it's necessarily bad, it could just mean it's time for me to take off, go somewhere else and find my place.